Taking ownership of who you are, through radical rest
Something many of us struggle with is rest.
Our relationships to rest, like anything else, is connected to a number of things:
Social conditioning: the way we’ve seen our families, our mums,; grandmas, aunties rest, the people around us rest. And particularly, as we grow older, how do the people we respect rest? How do our role models rest? We mirror behaviour that we see.
White supremacy: eeep, I said it. White supremacy is the belief that the white race is inherently superior to other races. How has this impacted people of colour as it pertains to rest? There is the notion that ‘we have to work twice as hard to be just as good’. What is the day to day impact on working TWICE AS HARD? It means you inherently, whether consciously or subconsciously, disallow yourself to rest. However, this is shifting and we can shift this further…
Patriarchy: Patriarchy is the social system in which positions of dominance and privilege are held by men. Like the above, women are either working within the patriarchy or challenging it. Exhausting work.
Socio-economic instability: rest can be seen as a privilege, not a necessity.
Capitalism: by the nature of the global society in which we live, capitalism drives everything. Whether we like it or not. Capitalism is synonymous with hustle culture. Again, disallowing us to rest as we feel the need to always be “on” and “doing”.
Because anti-resting is so rooted in the above, the notion of doing it is radical.
When we consciously decide to take our health and wellbeing into our own hands, we take agency over our own lives and acknowledge that we are responsible for ourselves first and foremost. Radical rest means intentionally going against our deeply ingrained attitudes and disrupting the pervasive systems of capitalism and white supremacy.
And while trends like ‘soft life’ and ‘self-care resets’ make their way into our awareness through social media, rest is about more than just the external and glamorised aspects of wellness. Actively slowing down and allowing yourself to process your day, taking the time to eat intentionally and check in with yourself the way you would a friend, partner or family member. The mind needs rest from all of its internal noise and the body requires the somatic release of emotions and energy, the same way a car engine needs time to cool down after a drive, with regular check ups and annual MOT.
Rhianna’s Rest Story
My experience with rest has meant a shift from the internalised belief that it should be last on the list and considered only when everything else is done, to one where I prioritise and value it regardless of how productive I am. I’ve watched both of my parents experience serious health issues that should have caused them to pause, slow down and re-evaluate their priorities, but instead they kept (and keep) going.
Ignoring my mind and body for so long forced me to go to the other extreme, complete burnout. This meant being unable to complete day to day tasks and I felt like I had to start from scratch in terms of figuring out how to actually rest and look after myself.
Coaching with Trisha played a big role. It felt like a space for self-validation because I was being asked to be honest about who I am and who I want to be.
The coaching container was one of my first experiences of someone outside of myself telling me it was okay to use who I already am to support who I want to be, rather than seeing myself as a problem to fix. Our sessions made me realise I really require rest and that I don’t want to be productive 24/7, not at work or at home, and if other people do, that’s nice for them. Instead of seeing productivity in the skewed polarities of ‘laziness’ and ‘overworking’, I now strive for a balanced perspective.
Trisha’s Rest Story
For me, the notion of resting has been a journey in me reframing the type of person I want to be in the world. Which has led to me having to be very intuitive and reflective of how my body and mind reacts with and without rest.
For those of you who have designed personal mission statements with me, how does rest support you to achieve your mission? We often think about rest as an outcome of tiredness, burnout. It’s something we do once we’ve done all of the things. But what happens if it becomes the thing we do before we do all the things? During doing all the things? In the middle of doing all the things?
I take extreme pride in now saying, I rest every day (took a long time to get there). Yes, I do not have children or care taking responsibilities and I do not work a traditional 9-5 job, so I am aware of the time privilege I have right now however I do have responsibilities and demands of life and career. And yet, I know that one day I will have more, therefore, I do myself a disservice at this point in life by not taking care of myself through rest. By not getting my mind and body ready for who I am now in the spaces I want to be and who I will want to be in the future. Rest is imperative to my practice as a Coach,as a Founder, to being a global citizen, to my roles and responsibilities to those around me and most importantly in being able to show up in my authenticity as myself.
One of the biggest challenges I hear as it pertains to rest is understanding the type of rest we need and how to actually embed it into everyday life.
Next month's newsletter will provide tools on the doing of rest, rooted in the “the 7 types of rest” theory. Stay tuned!
What we’ve been up to:
Level Up Empower Hour: our online safe space discussion, this month sharing themes and tools around harmony and what this means personally for our lives.
What we have coming up:
Level Up Empower Hour on Monday 5th August to set intentions and priorities for the month ahead.
Level Up Book Club and Coaching Event on Wednesday 28th August - An evening with Jyoti Patel. Tickets are now sold out, however, we’ll share reflections from this event in our next newsletter!
Recent Client Reviews:
“My experience with Trisha has been transformational. When we first met I was in a difficult place that left me questioning my purpose and shook my confidence. Trisha has worked with me reflect on my life wheel covering everything from spirituality to financial health - which was the first time I have reflected all these factors out loud and guided by someone. We continuously referred back to this in the monthly sessions as well as setting SMART goals. Trisha is great at communicating, being open and transparent as well as consistent. Through her coaching I managed to achieve my goals and also have a more positive outlook on the next year.” - Vanessa Castro, Community Organiser.